Recent_Ad_9956 I 25f am 7 months pregnant with our first child. My husband 27m and I are both incredibly excited. My husband is a good man, but is kind of stubborn and is a know it all at times. We were discussing my birth plan with my nurse, and I plan on giving birth in a hospital based birth center. I’ve had an incredibly easy pregnancy and would like a more relaxed homey feeling birth, but would like medical care available in case there are any complications. While discussing, my husband kept interrupting me and answering for me, saying what he thought was best. I told him to stop and that this was mostly a conversation between my nurse, and her patient aka me and our baby. He stopped but got huffy and annoyed the rest of the appointment. In the car he got mad and said he was just trying to help and this was his baby just as much as it was mine. I told him he’s right, we are equal parents and the minute the kid is out of me he gets just as much say as I do. But until then he gets no say in how I give birth, because I am the patient and this is a medical procedure at its core. His job during labor is to be my support person, advocate for me if needed, and to watch our child come into the world. He told me that was messed up and I’m being selfish for saying that. That this pregnancy isn’t about me and I’m not more important of a parent than he is. This is not the first time we’ve had this conversation but it’s the first time I’ve been so blunt about it."AITA for telling my husband he gets no say in how I give birth?"
He is now giving me the silent treatment. He wants me to immediately get hooked up to pitocin in a hospital room and if it doesn’t speed things along fast enough get a c-section. Which is the exact opposite of what I want and so far there is no indication I will need to be induced or need a c-section.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
nyoprinces
If he wants a pregnancy that's all about him, he can go get pregnant.
Kirbywitch
Totally agree. I wonder how controlling he is in the aspect of everyday life.
SilverMcFly
I had the same thought. Only to be validated by the time I got to the end when OP said "this isn't the first time we've had this conversation" I'm not going to go all "reddit says leave" but I would definitely be keeping a keen eye on his behavior throughout the rest of the birth and after.
1968phantom
NTA. He's very wrong. Women still die during childbirth. If he's giving you the silent treatment over this you may like to think about a better support person during the birth. In fact you might like to have a better support person in your life moving forward. Good luck with everything.
Boxofmagnets
Offer to squeeze his nuts according to how bad each particular contraction is, soft early and so forth. Seriously, how is it that men can watch this process and question a woman’s decision as to how she feels comfortable? Suggest he stay away if he is bothered by your professional and personal choices.
Also, he is controlling. Not necessarily a big deal if it doesn’t bother you normally but set some parenting rules now and in writing because he will contradict you in front of the kid on parenting matters. Kids get away with murder when they can divide and conquer.
obiwantogooutside
Let's address the silent treatment. It’s not acceptable behavior. Is this how he’s going to parent? It’s not acceptable to a partner and REALLY not to a child. You have a bigger problem here than just a birth plan.
External_Expert_2069
Good, let him be silent. Don’t feed into his mantrum. If he were the one giving birth I’m sure he would feel the same way. You said nothing wrong. Why is he making you giving birth about him 😂🥴
So, do you think the OP is right or should she be more sensitive to what her husband wants for her child?
Sources: Reddit
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